One.
Summer Brennan says I’m supposed to write the first true sentence I think of to start the five things prompt. She warned that this would be difficult for us overthinkers. What she doesn’t know is that the first sentence I believe to be true came to my mind quickly. I can’t think of anything else to write instead of this one sentence. The trouble is, I’m not sure I want to write it down. I know I’d like for it to no longer live in my head, but I also don’t want to give it a home anywhere else.
Two.
I wrote number one at least three months ago, during my first attempt at this five things prompt. Number one is still true three months later. I know this has meaning, but I also know I don’t currently want to even peel back a single layer of that meaning. I’m not meaning to be vague, it’s just one of those things. Some feelings and thoughts need proper time to percolate before you just pour them out.
Three.
I sent a really shitty first draft to my friend Sara a few weeks ago, looking for her guidance on a direction to take the words I had put on the page. She gave wonderful suggestions, and then even better edits. Her initial response is the piece of advice that really helped me write the entire essay though.
“Like I can hear your voice in it. In the list form that you have, so you have to keep that in it. Because that's your voice.” 1
I did not respond to Sara with my initial reaction but if I had, it would have gone like this.
Um, excuse me? What do you mean this is my voice? How did I not know this? I’m positive no two things I write sound similar, I do not write well enough, I have not written enough, I have not been a writer long enough to have a voice.
I have absolutely convinced myself I am not good enough to have a voice. Like my writing voice is something I earn, craft, or strive for.
Instead, maybe, possibly, my writing voice is just like my actual voice, a part of me.
Without the constant pressure of trying to Find My Voice and instead just trusting myself, words seem to make it to the page a lot easier.
Four.
My two youngest children put together an actual presentation to convince their dad why they need a Nugget.2 Each of them wrote a page, each of them illustrated a page. It was kind of brilliant. They presented Friday, and he still said no. I don’t share this to make him sound like The Bad Guy, I share it because I think this is going to be a big lesson for our entire family.
The kids started out by dealing with their disappointment by not so affectionately referring to Brent as Dream Crusher. After a chat about how name-calling isn’t how we deal with our feelings and conflicts in this house, they have now begun to have discussions about how they can get him to change his mind. Giving up their 25 dollars each Amazon Gift card to put toward the total is an idea they are tossing around. However, neither has been able to commit yet. 3
I’m trying to remain neutral and observe how this plays out. When should they take no as a final answer?4 Will they convince him? Will they bore of this topic and move on like Brent thinks they will? It could really go either way from where I’m sitting.
Five.
I have an essay idea floating around about two separate habits happening in our home recently and I asked my writing mastermind if they thought something was there, and they all said yes. I’ve sat down several times the last two days to begin that essay but I couldn’t find the words. So today I sat down and took Ashlee Gadd’s advice, and went where the energy was. This is what you are reading. I’m hoping the essay is buried under these five, not-so-random, thoughts.
Six?
Also, I really needed a reason to share some photos from my third roll of film that I don’t think completely suck. So maybe that’s number six? Also, friends, film photography is beautiful, but hard work. Good, hard work.
Shout out to Voxer for being able to quote her directly.
The link goes to the Sam’s Club version because this is what I plan to purchase if we decide to get one.
They have since committed. Dad is still on the fence, but they are still trying.
For this particular thing, and in life.
ahh! There it is! Dani’s voice! And it’s so wonderful ❤️ loved this 5 things essay so much.
“Some feelings and thoughts need proper time to percolate before you just pour them out.” This is a perfect sentence ✨
I love your voice-- it is a part of you and you have it very much friend!! Trust it-- it’s God given and so beautiful and special friend! You have a gift. 🤎