In December of 2022 I felt a nudge to learn something new creatively. The previous year I taught myself to knit by watching a few YouTube videos and it has been so much fun. I’ve lost count of the number of hats I’ve made and I’ve been working on my third blanket for the last several months. Apparently, I decided learning something new would be a yearly thing for me. I always seem to conclude in November or December that I am bored and must learn something new immediately. I can’t really say why. My best guess is that it is my brain's way of preparing myself for several long months spent indoors during the cold Michigan winters. I haven’t thought much about the why, instead I select a creative endeavor and resolve to learn it.
Side note: I have done this an unbelievable amount of times and the Cricket I haven’t used in four years, and the sewing machine that has not been used one time are prime examples of how I am not always great with follow through. I did ask a friend to teach me how to thread the bobbin of my sewing machine this summer in hopes of actually sewing something, but it is anyone’s guess if I’ll actually follow through. Check back in later I suppose.
Anyway, back to December of 2022. Equipped with my father in law’s old Canon A 1 film camera, the fuji superia film I ordered from Amazon, and the YouTube video that was going to teach me every single thing I needed to know, I was ready to begin.
And I did begin. For about two weeks I walked around my house paying attention to light, googling what settings I should have this film camera at because not being able to see a properly exposed image on the screen in front of me was really throwing me off. I took about 10 photos, and before seeing a single one I set the camera down and determined I did not know enough and should probably just give up. Unfortunately that is exactly what I did until June of 2023. The camera sat on my bookshelf as a piece of cute decor for six months.
Summer always stirs something in me. The few short months I have with my kids at home all day beckons me to choose presence over anything else. My soul screams at me to slow down and pay attention. My camera is always out in the summer more than any other month. There is this gravitational pull to it, to pick it up and document all of the little moments.
At the beginning of this month the pull wasn’t towards my trusty DSLR though. While I do absolutely LOVE my camera, I felt my mind wander to the film camera.
I did a quick YouTube refresher, asked a few questions on Instagram to some of my favorite photographers that shoot film, and began.
I’d like to tell you that you are seeing images from the very first roll of film I shot, however, that would be a lie. The very first roll of film is sitting in a garbage can because I did not properly rewind the film back into the roll before opening the back of the camera. I exposed the entire roll to light, which effectively means I ruined every single image.
Obviously, my good friend imposter syndrome decided it was time to say hello. She let me know that I had no idea what I was doing, I couldn’t even roll the film back up correctly. Who did I think I was anyway? Time to put that camera back on the shelf and just give up.
Thankfully, this time, I ignored her. You are about to see my second roll of film. There are many things I don’t love about the images. I’m not going to tell you those things.
Instead let me tell you three things I do love about them.
I love that I didn’t give up.
I love that I will continue to learn and grow.
I love the imperfections, the simplicity, and the beauty.
Here’s to making mistakes, not giving up, slowing down, and choosing presence over perfection every single time.
Ok that’s it. Next purchase- film camera. My husband will not agree 🤣🤣 he’s still mad about my first camera. I love the one of them against the trampoline net. And love her little smile at the bubble on the wand. Yay for more people like me trying new things, some of which fail to be as fueling as we’d hoped and others to be something we’d been searching for creatively. I’m so excited to keep seeing this film journey of yours. (I’ll be living through you until I can snatch one up.)
Well you already know how I feel about this ❤️🤩